Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish - It’s Essential

For so many women, especially after 40, life becomes a long to-do list of caring for everyone else. Family, work, relationships, commitments… you name it. Somewhere along the way, your own needs slipped to the bottom of the list.

And here’s the hard truth: when you keep pouring from an empty cup, eventually there’s nothing left to give.

But here’s the beautiful flip side: when you fill yourself up first, everyone around you benefits. Your energy shifts. Your joy returns. You stop just surviving and start truly living.

Why We Struggle to Put Ourselves First

• We’ve been told it’s “selfish” to prioritise our needs.

• Guilt sneaks in the moment we say no to others.

• We’ve forgotten what actually lights us up outside of responsibility.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Let's Reframe: Self-Care is Self-Respect

Imagine this: instead of running on empty, you felt energised, excited, and alive. The version of you who laughs more, explores more, and dreams bigger.

That’s not indulgence. That’s self-respect.
That’s saying: “My joy matters, too.”

3 Gentle Ways to Start Today

1. Pause Before Saying Yes
   Next time someone asks for your time or energy, ask yourself: “Does this light me up, or does it drain me?”
   You’re allowed to choose you.

2. Book Something Just for You
   Coffee alone, a dance class, or even a weekend retreat (yes, you deserve it ✨). Time away isn’t wasted - it’s an investment in the best version of you.

3. Dream Without Limits
   When was the last time you asked yourself what you really want? Start journaling your wildest “someday” dreams. You may just realise “someday” can start sooner than you think.

My Final Thoughts

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s the secret to reclaiming your energy, your freedom, and your joy.

And here’s the best part: you don’t have to do it alone. Surrounding yourself with women who get it - who are also ready to prioritise themselves - makes the journey lighter and more inspiring.

🌸 That’s exactly why I created Empowered Escapes, getaways for women who are seeking more connection, with themselves and others. Part retreat, part excuse to get away for a little while but you'll no doubt come home a little different. Designed for women who are looking to bring the spark back to their lives, finding purpose again and wanting to let loose and laugh till your sides hurt. 

👉 JOIN THE PRIORITY list so you can be notified as soon as our getaways go live.

Because you deserve more than “fine.” You deserve to thrive.

With love and empowerment
Sandra xx