Learning to Trust Yourself Again

I can remember a time when making even the smallest decision felt surprisingly difficult.

It wasn't because I didn't have options. In fact, I probably had too many. I'd think something through, make a decision in my own mind, and then almost immediately start looking for someone to confirm I'd chosen correctly. I'd ask a friend what they thought, search for reassurance or keep going over the same decision until I was more confused than when I started.

Looking back now, it wasn't really the decision that felt difficult.

It was trusting myself. (I have a feeling I'm not alone in that.)

Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, many of us slowly stop believing that we know what's best for our own lives. We become so accustomed to seeking advice, approval and reassurance that we forget we have a voice of our own.

It doesn't happen overnight. It happens one conversation at a time.

One moment where someone tells us we're too emotional.
One moment where we're encouraged to be practical instead of curious.
One moment where we ignore our instincts because somebody else seems more confident than we are.

Years pass, and without even noticing, we begin to believe that the answers must live somewhere outside of us.

So we ask everyone else.

"What do you think I should do?"
"Do you think this is the right decision?"
"What would you do if you were me?"

There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for advice. Sometimes other people can offer perspectives we've never considered. But advice and dependence are two very different things.

Advice should help us HEAR ourselves more clearly. But it shouldn't replace our own voice.

I've often wondered how different our lives might look if we trusted ourselves just a little more.

Not because we'd suddenly make perfect decisions. Let's be honest, none of us are going to get everything right. But perhaps we'd spend less time paralysed by fear. Less time worrying about disappointing people. Less time waiting for someone else to give us permission to do the thing our heart has quietly been nudging us towards all along.

One of the biggest lessons life has taught me is that there isn't always a perfect decision waiting to be discovered.

There is simply a decision that feels right for the person you are today.

Could it work out differently than you imagined?

Of course.

But that doesn't automatically make it the wrong choice.

Every decision, even the ones we'd never choose again, teaches us something about ourselves. Every unexpected detour adds another layer to who we're becoming. When I look back, some of the moments that felt like mistakes at the time became the very experiences that gave me the courage, compassion and perspective I carry today.

Nothing was wasted.

Maybe that's why trusting ourselves has less to do with certainty than we think. Perhaps it has more to do with believing that whatever happens next, we'll find our feet again.

If you've been wrestling with a decision lately, I'd love to leave you with one question.

If there was no fear of getting it wrong... and no worry about what anybody else might think... what would you choose?

Don't answer too quickly.

Sit with it.

Sometimes our first response comes from habit.

The real answer often arrives when the world becomes quiet enough for us to hear it.

Thank you for spending a little time here with me today.

I hope this reminds you that your inner voice hasn't disappeared. It may simply have been drowned out by years of listening to everyone else first. And perhaps today is a gentle reminder that it's still there, patiently waiting for you to trust it again.

Cheering you on, always,

Sandra 💗